sippy cups refilled
nap time conquering
rested young’uns awake
diaper change (seriously, this is truth)
3:00 pm ALREADY?
thoughts of more laundry
wishes for clean windows
“SHE HIT ME”
“Honey, I’m home!”
last round of potty visits
6 bedtime stories
8 attempts to sneak out
toys picked up
last kitchen check
“wanna touch?” “um yes, my pillow.”
enter thoughts of EVERY THING you didn’t get done.
sleep for 3.9 hours.
WAKE. BACK. UP.
Raise your hand if THIS sounds so familiar.
If you have the beautiful blessing of babies…you know this day. You’ve had this day. On repeat even.
So, it’s common for women to say “make time for your children” but for all of us who have had (currently having) these days…”HOW” is screamed at the top of our lungs -causing a sore throat that just doesn’t have time to factor in to this mess of a schedule- because we just can’t see it. We are told to do it all the time but we aren’t told HOW. We know THAT woman who has the pretty little schedule with the pretty little outfit with the pretty little pageant winning babies with the pretty little diaper bag (are they even called that anymore??) with the pretty little figure due to her pretty little gym routine and we just want. to. vomit. Our momma’s taught us to “be nice and learn from those who know more than you” but come on…we want. to. vomit. Because it just seems SO out of reach of the possibility that WE can be that “together.” I get it. I have been there. I am STILL there but on a schedule now that eliminates “diaper change” and replaces with “pray for teenager” and “cartoons” done away with and “you’re grounded” introduced. So see, as our lives with our blessings we are to see for who they are -souls entrusted to US (whooooooole nother post lol)- start…they never stop, only change. While my “babies” are 13 and 12, and your babies are actual little humans who require 100% attention, we are ALL in this same dilemma are we not?
Time. I need it. My kids require it. My husband deserves it. The Lord provides it.
With all this said…I present to you a proven -not universally or anything so don’t get all excited- method of “making time” for all who need it, require it, and deserve it.
When I was a stay at home mother, I was overwhelmed most days. I had NO idea HOW to make all this happen in a 24 hour period. And I outright failed at being all/doing all/taking care of all for everyone SEVERAL times. And so will you. Rule #1…don’t set expectations you will FAIL in because DISCOURAGEMENT is NOT YOUR FRIEND. Be realistic. Rationale. The absolute key in being successful at any task you create for yourself is to be reasonable about it. If you are not a runner, it would be admirable to set out to be a marathon runner next month, but more than likely TOTALLY UNDOABLE!!! So, no matter where you are in your motherhood…set a reasonable, rationale, and realistic goal for managing your time. It will be different than your BFF, it won’t be better or worse, just different. It may take you longer to achieve than your favorite sister in Christ, and that’s ok. Your life…your babies…your husband…your Lord…your daily tasks.
I did this. I started small. “Tomorrow…I will do ____________.”
And when tomorrow came, no matter what time of the day it was when I did it, I did _____________. Like, if I knew that my husband had just been overlooked for the last 4 days because of “days of our lives” -not show, who’s got time for that??!- I would tell myself “tomorrow…I will take the kids to (grandparents, aunts/uncles, friends/whomever) and have a quiet dinner for just us. Nothing fancy. Nothing expensive. Nothing formal. But a dinner for JUST US, at our table. For maybe an hour. And I would completely and utterly erase the entire world around me except HIM and HE would get my every ounce of attention. He probably didn’t deserve it. He may very well have had to cut it short because he had to cut the grass. There would be a great chance that he wouldn’t even have acknowledged that I did this just for him. BUT HERE IS WHAT IT DID DO…it gave the proof to him -regardless if vocally told to you or not- that HE. IS. STILL. IMPORTANT!!! And sisters, that is important. See, when your mind/heart/soul is SET ON service in your marriage…you lose the selfish desire for it “to be all about me.” And I will challenge each of you reading this to contact anyone who knew/knows me today and ask “was Tressa just born selfless with a selfless heart and mind?” Because you will be told quickly “Ummm…NO!” So I’m not speaking to you as a woman who was born with this “I am just gonna always think about others and never about what I want.” I’m SO the opposite. I have to train myself every single day. Remind myself. Fail and get back up. Enough about my failures…lol.
So, starting tonight…when you are in the “wind down” phase of your day…plan for a “tomorrow…I will do _________.” And look, it can be a NUMBER of things…
Begin with prayer
Spank her leg the next time she tells me “no”
Let lunch mess stay messy
Go for a walk with my babies
Kiss my husband passionately before he leaves for work (brush teeth first please)
Call my mother
Watch 3 full cartoons with him
It’s your day. Your routine. Your babies. Your husband. And once you have started setting same and reasonable/rationale/realistic goals for your day and you ACCOMPLISH it/them, you will begin to train yourself that TIME in your day can be spent doing whatever it is that you feel is important for that day. It can/will change from day to day…and THAT IS OK. Your life is already overwhelming enough just making sure that people stay alive in your house…no need to over-overwhelm it.
You can do _________. In your time, in your way, for your people…and ultimately for your sweet Father in heaven